Last week I was at a summer party.
You know the kind, casual and filled with loads of people you don’t know personally, though you all share common friends. Naturally, I was introduced to a man, and once we’d figured out our mutual connections, we began to chat.
At one point he made a reference to politics, or managing current events, or something along those lines, and the strangest thing happened.
I began speaking to him -and at the same time that eloquent words were flowing from my mouth- I was simultaneously wondering, who is saying this? Because the ideas were spot on but were not something I’d previously even considered! Yet here they were, pouring out of me clear, concise, actionable.
Later, in recollecting the experience with my friend who did in fact know that gentleman, she shared that he was a lawyer who’d worked for the justice department early in his career before moving to the private sector. Her response was that my words were spot on, and likely, exactly what he needed to hear.
Have you ever had one of those moments? When you say something unexpected, like your mouth’s been taken over in a good/honest way?
In this particular instance, I too was inspired by what I said – and here it is:
It can feel difficult not to fall into despair, upset or hopelessness. But it seems to me that what this moment is asking of us is to re-visit our values.
In order to do this we’re being invited to:
Step 1: Take inventory
Here are some great questions.
What exactly are my values?
What do I believe in?
Brené Brown compiled a fairly exhaustive list of values. Here’s a link to use with step one.
The encouragement with this is to sit down and ask yourself the above questions.
Maybe your values are the same as they were last year or a decade ago. Maybe not. Time to find out.
Why?
Because we all live by our values – consciously and unconsciously.
Don’t you want to know what’s influencing your decisionmaking and have it be conscious?
Step 2: Make a list of your top ten values
Once you’ve done a list, put them in order from 1-10.
1 meaning most dear and precious to you.
Step 3: Answer these
Congratulations!
You have now determined what is really important to you in a clear, open way.
This next set of statements will help you deepen into your values and give you insight into how you can live those even more. In other words, help you make your values actionable.
One way I can live into my values even more is…
Another way I can live into my values even more is …
A third way I can live into my values even more is…
Think about your actions like each one is a drop in a lake that ripples out into concentric circles.
+I share my kindness with a stranger when I help her carry her groceries to the car.
+You stop to help a man cross the road.
+A neighbor donates to the food pantry.
We act, and those actions create ripples of kindness, of generosity, of gratitude.
This is how we counteract despair. This is how we create a world we all want to live in.
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Image courtesy of Theodore Poncet