What’s your opinion about this idea -finishing what we start versus quitting before it feels done or complete?
I had a conversation about this a while ago and am still pondering it.
Like most beliefs, this one was unconscious inside of me until I really began to unpack it. As I did, I began to see how the idea of finishing what I start, has been a big driver in my life.
It got embedded in my system when I was a teenager. I had a challenging (some might say traumatic) experience my sophomore year as a new student at boarding school, after I’d lobbied to go away. Only, a few months later, I was desperate to come home.
In my memory, I phoned home every day, begging to leave. That’s how unhappy I was. Finally, my mother told me I had to stay and “finish what I’d started.”
I resigned myself to being there and eventually graduated.
This theme came up again when I lived in Hong Kong in my early 20s. I was pretty unhappy and eager to flee. When my friend asked me where I wanted to go, I replied, “anywhere, as long as it isn’t here.” To which she asked, “what do you want to do?”
My response? Anything, as long as it wasn’t there.
And then she turned her body around to face me and said, “you need to make your happiness here.”
Ugh – I couldn’t run away…
I spent the next four years there, making a life for myself. I don’t know that I would have ever described myself as happy but I found peace.
From that experience in particular, I think it cemented in me this idea of finishing what I start. Which is why earlier this year, when I found myself wanting to abandon a project in lieu of doing a completely new one, I hesitated. What was the right thing to do? Shouldn’t I finish what was already half complete before launching into something wholly different?
Yet I had no interest in completing that other project. It felt burdensome, un-fun.
Much of the guidance I received, when I asked others, was to follow my passion. To move towards what felt exciting and energizing. But that old part of me – that “finish what you start” prerogative was also at play.
This kicked me into an inquiry- how do I know when to keep pushing, and when to walk away?
In truth, I don’t think there’s an easy answer here. Because every situation is nuanced, subtle. If it was obvious, it would be easy!
For me, the answer has come from sitting with it. From holding the tension that can arise from uncertainty. By being willing to make a mistake. And by trusting that I can be guided towards right action.
How about you?
How do you discern whether it’s time to keep at something or it’s time to quit?
Any ideas to share?
Let me know! I’m all ears.
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Image courtesy of Ahmet Kurt on Unsplash