Lately I’ve been doing some reflecting. It naturally occurred as a follow up from all the visioning we’ve been doing lately.
The inventory I’ve been conducting is about examining my decisions more closely and looking at my underlying motivations.
In other words, did I make a significant decision because I was adhering to a set of unconscious rules passed down from family or society? Or because it was truly something I felt called to do for my own self growth? Take a moment to look back at your life and ask yourself the same questions.
It turns out we make loads of decisions based on things like: pleasing others, fulfilling expectations, because it’s the "right" thing to do, or it’s what we’re “supposed” to do.
When my children were really little, I had a regular yoga practice with a teacher I just adored. One day after class we were chatting and he said to me, “you have a lot of have-to's in your life.”
I was so stunned by his remark! Yet when I reflected on where I was then, I realized that he was right. I was the primary caregiver to small people and did indeed have loads of have-to's, but his comment did push me to be more mindful of what I did and how I spent my time.
Because this – right now, this very second- this is your life.
AND it’s time you followed your innate knowing, that core inner voice that’s whispering to you, inviting you to step into what you really want to do.
This voice can easily get drowned out by all the should's and have-to's that shout around us.
But listen.
Louise Hay called this her inner ding. What’s yours trying to tell you?
Give yourself permission to live life in a different way, by following that inner knowing. This is how we experience life as an exciting adventure.
After all, we live in a world of infinite possibility. Anything and everything is possible for you right now! All you need to do is dream it into existence.
How exciting is that?
If you’re ready to open up to possibility, here’s a few ways to access it:
1: Remember, You Are in Charge
When you actively embrace the idea that you are the co-creator of your life, everything becomes possible.
Life is an active unfolding, one you manifest every day.
Think about all of the changes you’ve experienced in your lifetime. The inventions, the transformations. Every single one of them began as an idea.
Your life is a creative process too, so dream it into existence!
2: Get SUPER Clear
The first part of being a creator is to decide what you want.
For many years, I didn’t know what I wanted. As a result, I learned what I didn’t want by trying lots of things! This method isn’t terribly effective and I don’t recommend it, but sometimes it’s how we learn…
Instead of trial and error, there is a better way.
Get clear on exactly what you want: a new job for example. But fill it in: where, doing what, earning how much… The more specific you can be, the easier it will manifest.
Then take focused action towards your goal.
What can you do to move you towards getting that job? Write a resume, cover letter, email the company, get an internship, etc.
3: Focus on the What
There is only one question you need to answer: What do you want?
After that, the invitation is to get out of the way.
Why?
Because we have no control over the how or even the when. Those are within the Universe’s domain. I know this sounds hard, especially for those of us who are or were control freaks.
But the most amazing part of this is once you do let go, the Universe works in ways you could never imagine from your current vantage point.
4: Relax and Have Fun
Life is meant to be joyful, not a slog.
Isn't that such a better reframe?
I’ve spent decades making decisions from a place of duty and obligation, from people pleasing, or self-sacrifice. All ways that I’m hardwired.
One of the best reframes that I learned was in 2011 when I completed my happiness coaching certification. It’s a quote of Robert Holden:
“Your happiness is your gift to the world.”
If you believed this, how might your decisions change?
If you knew that following your happiness (or bliss) was also in everybody else’s highest and best good, what might you do?
Allow yourself to dream into that. Then relax and know that if you focus on it, it will come.
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Image courtesy of Samuel Quek on Unsplash