It’s true, we ALL suffer from feeling like there’s something missing, or we aren’t good enough, or that we’re lacking in some way…
Certainly, the human part of us can fall into this kind of thinking. Especially when we feel anxious or fearful.
I think it’s helpful to recognize that we encounter feelings of lack or not enough-ness when we either feel separate from the one-ness and disconnected from the universe, OR we identify and believe we are our self image / personality which comes with, according to Robert Holden’s new book on the Enneagram, a core sense of deficiency.
Having fun connecting with the Divine Feminine? Doesn’t it feel amazing?
Here’s another way to connect to that essence.
It’s our last mothering tool.
Can you guess what it is?
Yes, it’s connecting to the great goddess on which we live and get ALL of our physical sustenance and nourishment, Mother Earth.
During the Covid lockdown, I did a wonderful initiation into seeing the earth as Tara- Tara Gaia. And yet, there are countless first nations who have and continue to honor the earth as our sacred mother.
How has your journey of re-parenting been going?
Have you been able to heal some of that woundedness?
Did you get a glimpse or feel into the excitement of your inner magic?!?
If you’re ready for an even deeper step, this is just for you.
Today we’re exploring how to work with the Divine Mother and bringing that woundedness to the Mother of all mothers, to the essence of the Goddess that dwells within.
I thought for the the next sequence of blogs, we’d explore this idea of mothering, being mothered, and re-parenting ourselves. It feels timely and necessary. Maybe it’s because I also work as a psychotherapist that this topic is much on my mind…
So today we’ll explore the idea of re-parenting our wounded inner child.
Are you familiar with that expression? The wounded child?
From Caroline Myss’ work, we know that we all have a child archetype in our constellation. In part, because each of us experienced a childhood. And, at some point, (unfortunately) we got a negative message(s) about ourselves.
I bet you can see, even touch, a floor right now and perhaps a ceiling overhead- wherever you’re reading these words, yes?
Most structures have both , but did you know that this (floors & ceilings) is also an idea stock traders talk about?
It’s part of a metrics they use to evaluate where a stock may move. As a company’s stock drops in price, it can “hit a floor.” This might indicate a time to buy. Stocks can also “hit ceilings” which could indicate a time to sell. Obviously, this is a basic definition, but recently I took this way of thinking about floors and ceilings and applied it to the process of our inner work.
What do I mean?
One of the metaphors that’s worked for me over the years in my spiritual practice, is the RIVER.
I’ve often imagined myself in the flow of its gentle current, relaxing into Source, floating in safety as I'm gently lead on life’s journey.
It’s been a great metaphor to help me develop trust.
Lately, however, a new metaphor for what I call this “Big Love” has been coming to me – the OCEAN!
Yes, still a body of water, but one that feels completely different.
Because Divine Love isn’t just a river.
Recently I had a conversation with someone who told me he wanted to live openheartedly.
In truth, don’t we all?
The question is how…
We can certainly experience heart opening moments, but how do we sustain that space every moment of every day?
Whenever I think about opening my heart, I ALWAYS see an image of Lord Hanuman in my mind’s eye .
If you’re not familiar with this Hindu god, he is the one who looks like a monkey and is known as the servant to God/Love for he has devoted his life to serve Lord Rama.
Image from Photo Mix on Pixabay
Have I told you about the Black Madonna?
Ugh, she is so beautiful!
We received her last year. Take a look.
It was one of those synchronistic things. One day last January I began thinking about this painting, La Virgen Negra by Alfredo Arreguin.
It might sound weird, but it was almost as if she was calling to me.
You see, a few years earlier, I’d seen it at a gallery show where I was absolutely mesmerized by her. The photo I’d taken promptly got pasted onto my 2020 vision board!
Realizing I needed to say something to my husband, I confessed that I wanted to purchase this painting.
We just celebrated Father’s Day here in the U.S. and that got me thinking about relationships between fathers and children.
Many of us feel that we didn’t have the kind of father we wanted or needed in our lives.
Did you experience your dad as unavailable? Either physically, emotionally, or both?
Perhaps your dad was an active addict and wasn’t available to you. Maybe you never saw him as he lived in another state or country, or was incarcerated.
I have a friend whose father became homeless when he was a teenager.
Since last December, I’ve been doing a curious exploration.
It started over the winter holidays when one day I had this acute sensation that I was going to be “replaced.” At first I didn’t even have words for the intense anxiety and fear I was in.
It wasn’t until my husband asked me what was going on, that the words popped out of my mouth. “I’m afraid that I’m going to be replaced.”
You can imagine the look of astonishment on his face.
It’s illogical.
In my desire to understand the root of this fear, I ended up tracing it back to infancy.
This makes perfect sense because when I was just about to turn one, my younger sister was born. And to my infantile reptilian brain, that meant I was getting replaced!
For over a year, my daughter bugged me to listen to a podcast. The problem was, I didn’t have Spotify! I know, I know. I can see you rolling your eyes at me… the good news is once I did sign up, I immediately listened, and it was incredible!
Here are the specifics. It was an episode of Brené Brown’s Unlocking Us in which she interviews Sonya Renee Taylor about her book, The Body Is Not an Apology and they talk about this concept:
Have you been feeling like you’ve forgotten how to have fun?
It happens especially when the world seems extra chaotic and crazy. Almost like we feel like we have to be more serious and somber. But here’s the truth, we NEED to hold the beauty, the joy, happiness and fun to remind the world of what is really here.
To help me with this, I’ve set an intention for myself this year to really step into joy in a playful way. To rekindle feeling free, goofy, silly, and act like a child again!
How about you?
One of my first “real” jobs was at a non-profit called the Institute for Peace & International Security. It just so happened that my time there overlapped with the fall of the Berlin Wall. Since the organization was founded to end nuclear proliferation, that was considered a pivotal event!
I was the assistant to the assistant (if you can imagine that!) doing lots of data entry and other tedious office tasks. One morning my boss came to work ranting about the idiocy of Boston drivers, and people in general. She was fuming mad, and I could palpably feel her fury. While experiencing her in that state, I had a curious thought - that on a professional level she was working to end war and violence, but on a personal level was filled with rage.
Two years ago, at the beginning of the pandemic, Govinda (my husband) and I spent three weeks looking after an elderly couple, Tom & Linda Carpenter, who were both Course in Miracles teachers.
Despite the fact that Linda was experiencing dementia, every time we discussed the Course, she tuned right in, and offered valuable insight!
One of her constant reminders was that, “love is the answer regardless of the question.”
The forces that are churning right now – be they planetary, societal, energetic – are clearly telling us that it is time to change.
On a personal level, the invitation is to shed old stories or beliefs we’ve held about ourselves. For we know when we change ourselves, the world changes.
Over the holidays, I had the opportunity to bring an unconscious story/belief into my awareness. It came tumbling into the moment when I unexpectedly blurted out a most surprising phrase!
At the time, I had a house full of family mostly trapped indoors because of inclement weather. One morning, a minor incident occurred, only I experienced it as an overstep of my personal boundaries.
